it shouldn’t hurt.
But it does.
When I finally had the courage
To say that its all gone away,
I felt it pour out of me,
That sigh of relief too late.
But its like the beginning of icy
Conversations with sprinkles
Of what now?
And you taking it in like punches
And smile all the way through,
Saying its okay.
I don’t want it to be okay.
I want you to cry and not bear it
I want you to scream and punch a wall.
I want to know that what I was to you was
Not merely an its okay, I’ll survive.
I was more than its been great but whatever.
Its great to hear that you’re okay, but I wasn’t just an okay.
I might’ve felt like we were a no more.
But it wasn’t easy getting to where I am now,
And it was never a thanks for telling me that’s how you feel now,
I’m totally cool with you moving on.
Tell me you’ve built your dreams around me,
With a white house and a fast car.
With ten children running around the yard,
With a garden with exotic flowers and a fountain.
Tell me you saw a tomorrow, before you gave up so easily.
Because even though I said its not happening,
It wasn’t okay.
Its generally known as insomnia.
But if they looked a little closer,
They’d find the unraveling of layers
Of dusty old secrets piled high enough to
Reach the sky, of fears that smell and
Laughter that’s succumbed.
i just wrap my head around the loud vibration
of silence, and weave my crowded mind
through its starry sky, and stare back into their eyes.
Tell me your name and I’ll draw out of it, memories.
Tell me your fears and I’ll whisper it to my heart
For I can’t sleep tonight, so let me discover.
I’m falling apart, and my eyes won’t close and
The nights healing powers are all I know.
Dark as it might be, and as quiet as it is,
Let me tell it all I know and all I have,
For in the loneliest times can one seek
And find what truths their self holds.
Peel it all off.
Let me know myself.
For if my eyes shut,
I want to know who I am
before I sleep tonight.
It may be.
Hope that flutters.
Love, it prevails.
So I might hear.
Fears, and fears
Eat you up.
Bright red shoes.
Tap, tap, tap.
Clock strikes twelve.
Are you mine?
I’ve just lost touch.
HABEBI!! I miss you too oh so much. I’m good…trying to go back to focusing on school after the Egyptian revolution, but my other half chose to revolt so I guess that isn’t giving me time to concentrate. Haha, but yeah..school has taken all my time. I miss you so much though! How are you and hows everything with you?
I like you when you are quiet because it is as though you are absent,
and you hear me from far away, and my voice does not touch you.
It looks as though your eyes had flown away
and it looks as if a kiss had sealed your mouth.
Like all things are full of my soul
You emerge from the things, full of my soul.
Dream butterfly, you look like my soul,
and you look like a melancoly word.
I like you when you are quiet and it is as though you are distant.
It is as though you are complaining, butterfly in lullaby.
And you hear me from far away, and my voice does not reach you:
let me fall quiet with your own silence.
Let me also speak to you with your silence
Clear like a lamp, simple like a ring.
You are like the night, quiet and constellated.
Your silence is of a star, so far away and solitary.
I like you when you are quiet because it is as though you are absent.
Distant and painful as if you had died.
A word then, a smile is enough.
And I am happy, happy that it is not true.
These revolutions have taken me away from Tumblr- but now, I’m back:)
Yes, I’m mostly Egyptian, and now, I couldn’t be any prouder. The support of the world, and the unity of the Egyptians (if you put aside the hired pro Mubarak protesters) is amazing. I have never felt this hopeful in the Arab countries, and in Egypt. I hope that it’ll be over soon. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a guy as arrogant as he is. Its crazy how he won’t budge. But the Egyptians won’t let it go. They’ve come too far.
My family is okay. Some of my cousins are in the protests, and they’re doing fine. Hopefully it boils over and Mubarak leaves and everyone can go home.
Hope your family is safe too :)